"Taking care of your self is not self-indulgence, it is an act of LOVE."
IN the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, many of you have had a lot of spare "time" in your hands. Especially for those of you who always says "I don't have enough time", this HUGE pause that is pressed upon the world may be a blessing in disguise.
This pause may bring a lot of inconvenience to your life, as a lot of things you have planned are disrupted: that long spring break holiday you are looking forward to, the alone time you crave when your kids are at school, or that entertaining show you so desperately wanted to attend. A lot of what you have planned may all have been cancelled, and you're in a sudden place that makes you feel uncomfortable & out of balance.
Yet, this feeling of imbalance may just be what you need to rethink, readjust, reevaluate, and refresh your life.
This "spare" time may be exactly what you need to slow down, and learn what it means to take care of yourself. And to take care of yourself starts from our head to toe, and then from our inside out.
Begin by thinking, are you aware that you're not taking care of yourself? Are you aware of your body? Does it have aches and pains? Your thoughts? Your feelings and emotions? Do you feel tensed all the time? Anxious? Easy to react and panic? What about your relationships? Do you feel disconnected from your love ones? Are you aware of how you wake up in the morning? Do you rush to get out of the house and forget to nourish yourself with a healthy breakfast? What about before bed, do you drown yourself in your cell phone and forget to talk to your family or play with your kids? Do you constantly jump into fire-fighting mode or do you take your time to think things through? Many think self-care is a luxury, but in fact self-care is an essential part of our lifestyle choice, which can help root, and anchor us to search for the balance we need in life.
Self care is NOT a luxury, it is a NECESSITY. And what balances us is not in the events we plan outside of us, but in the way we take care of ourselves daily. A balanced routine is one of the hardest thing to establish, but once created, becomes your go-to mode to move forward in life. It is not unattainable, it takes practice, and most of all, it takes that very first step. As I remembered how hard it was to quit drinking and smoking, as back in the days I was an alcoholic who couldn't survive a day without drinking, and a chain smoker, who smoked like a chimney. On top of bad lifestyle choices, I was an emotional wreck, where REACT was my go-to mode. IT felt like an impossible thing to shed the unhealthy habits, but through self-awareness and practices, slowly I shed away those negative habits. Once I had given them up, it does not feel like I have given something important up, but instead I felt I had gained my life. I have gained a newfound respect towards the way I should take care of myself. It is not only about gaining healthy habits, but I start to value my body and my emotional health. I start to respect the body that was given to me by God. The way I treat my health and emotional wellbeing is equivalent to how much I love myself enough to take care of it. No matter how hard it may seem, once this positive flow of living kicks in, I become more and more aware that this is how I want to live my life.
I have discovered that the "Not enough time" or "Nah, not today, I'll do it tomorrow" or "I can always do it another time" is an illusion and a negative thought process that tricks us into believing that we don't have enough time to take care of ourselves. And when we neglect our self-care needs, we become more easily prone to panic, fear, anxiety, burnout, insomnia, where we react all the time without knowing the root of all the negative outbursts. But the secret is: We ourselves CREATE the time to take care of ourselves. We ourselves CREATE more time. And in return, by taking care of ourselves, we can become more effective in the things we want to do, we can become more present to those around us and much more available to those we love.
SELF CARE + SELF AWARENESS = SELF LOVE
By being aware of ourselves, our needs, we learn to listen to who we are, how we feel. Awareness of our feelings, what our body needs is the only way for any lasting change. With awareness comes real change, and that is when we can move forward into a more balanced life.
There are many things we can incorporate to give us the feeling of grounding. IN our daily lives, here are a few things that I always fall back on whenever I feel stressed or disconnected with myself:
Meditation/Prayer
Every morning and every night, I sit and breathe and pray for about 10 minutes. They are just thoughts of words that I would like to speak to God. Gratitudes for what He has given me and my family, hopes and wishes for those I love. Sometimes I choose to walk in nature and meditate in nature. This helps greatly to connect to where I am. I find walking in nature is one of the best ways to meditate, especially for those who does not like to sit still. If you live in the city, even a walk in a nearby park would help.
Journaling/Art Making/Playing Music
My go-to is always through my creative pursuits. Writing, painting, and playing music is the best way for me to unleash my creativity, move my emotions into a flow as I create from my heart and soul. Instead of over-thinking in my head, I describe and express it in art forms. Somehow, by doing that it clarifies my thoughts and emotions, and provides me the insight and awareness I needed. It also gives out this cathartic experience, whether its through a pen, a brush, paints or sounds, by creating, it extends my truth into visible and tangible things that I could see, feel, hear and touch. To me, this is the greatest way to take care of myself, and I can never get enough of it.
Nourishment
Without our body, our minds cannot function. What we put inside our body is as important as what we put inside our minds. Food can heal our body as well as provide the nutrients we need. Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day, as it determines how your day is going to be. Try and incorporate a healthy, energy boost in your breakfast, such as a fruit smoothie. It can be as simple as some berries, a banana, milk, honey and bam, you have a powerful energy booster for the day. It doesn't have to be fancy, and it doesn't have to cost much. Simple ingredients can sometimes be the most effective.
Other ways to nourish ourselves is through our senses. Taking a nice hot bath, cooking from scratch, doing a mini-facial at home, soaking your feet in hot water, listening to soothing music, reading etc. These are just some ways you can ground yourself. Find ways you enjoy and take some time to do it to reconnect to your body and nourish it.
Body & Movement
Our connection to our body is crucial to our emotional wellbeing. Often times, we spend way too much time living in our heads and neglect the body. But one of the most grounding thing you could do is through movements. As simple as taking a walk, run, yoga, dance or any forms of exercises that you enjoy, that can just make you move.
Creating our Schedule
Have you ever thought why you feel anxious, lethargic and easily annoyed all the time? Could it be that you have no idea how to manage your schedule? I'm not talking about the monthly calendars where you try to fill the month up with events and errands, but how do you manage your "energy" schedule? Where do you put your energy to? More parties and social gatherings? Are you constantly planning your kids schedule or time to do this and that, but what about your time? Are you willing to have blank boxes in your calendar, where you can take that day and do something you enjoy?
Saying "NO" is also managing our schedule. Personal boundaries is very important when it comes to self-care. You cannot keep giving your time to others without taking care of yourself first. The thinking that "if I miss this event I will miss out" must stop. What you will definitely miss out, is the time you can be quiet and connect with yourself. Learn to say "YES" to the things you really want from within is creating a healthy schedule for yourself. And you can always start in baby steps, and build up as you go along.
Therapy
Expressive Arts Therapy is not only for those who have serious emotional problems. It is for everyone and anyone that wants to check in with themselves and reevaluate their life. It is a very crucial part of self-care, as it can help those who are in need of a professional to help you work through some of the issues you have in life. I myself had received some of the best insights from therapy. Sometimes it is impossible to see a lot of blind spots within myself, and I need another person to help me work through those emotional knots, and clarify my path for me to walk on. There is nothing wrong to find someone to help you with taking care of yourself. In fact, using Expressive Arts Therapy can benefit in so many ways, such as alleviating your stress to do it all, learning how to manage your schedule, and to work through emotional difficulties. And maybe now is the TIME for you to work through those issues you have longed ignored. Now you can create TIME to untie those emotional knots. And really invest your TIME into treating yourself with love & care.
No matter where you stand now, or how you feel, I hope this article can shed some light on the importance of taking care of your SELF. And I wish that you will rethink the "spare" time you have to enjoy the process of taking care of yourself. Observe the benefit of letting go the old habits, and gaining new insights into your life. By taking care of yourself, is to love yourself, and to love yourself is when you can love others more deeply and truly as well.
For more information on the topic or if you have any questions regarding self-care, please do not hesitate to email or message me :)
Peace and love,
AMA