What are your thoughts on the word Spirituality? What comes into your mind when you hear this word? Some may relate Spirituality with calmness, peacefulness, and serenity. But have you ever thought of the process one has to go through in order to reach those states?
Personally, Spirituality is a long and painful internal process that helps me grow from the inside out. Like layers being peeled off of an onion, it takes years, months, days, hours and minutes to slowly reveal the core of my self. Enlightenment and insights come from these uncomfortable feelings I have when the growth is happening. I call them "growing pains". It unsettles me, revolts me to change, and challenges my comfort zone, breaking me apart from what I thought I knew to the unknown. I have experienced these "growing pains" continuously, where my life experiences have always challenged me to break away from my comfort zone. Every time I felt attached to something, a place, an identity or a state, my soul seems to tell me that there are other places I need to travel to, not only physically, but spiritually, in order for me to grow and peel those layers.
There are so many times, devastating times that I confronted the darkest side of myself. So many times, I wanted to quit growing, trying or accepting the person I see in the mirror. But as I preserver through my flaws, insecurities, fears, doubts, anxieties....all summed up to the word "Pain"; a part of my true self arise. And every time that happens, I forget about the pain and become stronger. Birthing and rebirthing is as physical and as spiritual as it can sound. I remember giving birth to my son 7 years ago, and how that experience changed my life. 20 hours of labor and agonizing pain. Yet the moment when he was born, birthed out of my body, I felt this immense joy showering me like a strong sunlight that permeates my entire being.
Moments of joy, comes from immense pain. Yet it is through pain, I learn life's biggest lessons. And it is through pain and courage that I learn the flexibility and unknown spaces I can keep growing. Pain is a process. It requires endurance, silent suffering, and faith. The faith to know that it is in the power of sitting with the process that one can find peace within our soul. Because the core of ones' true self is the soul.
The soul is very different than our ego or how we identify ourselves. The soul has the power to heal itself, to know the right direction to go in our lives. It acts as a compass that points us to where we are suppose to be, not where we think we should go. The trouble at times is it seems so much easier to listen to our ego rather than our soul. Because when we follow our ego, we do not need to confront our pain. In fact, it moves us further away from our pain, and lead us to a false image of ourselves. But if we follow our soul, it can be a painful process, yet through this internal struggle, we become more of who we are originally.
The arts is the language of the soul. I count my blessings everyday, of being able to paint, write, and create music that helps me go through these uncomfortable thresholds. These creative tools allow me to not only express myself, but act as a friend that sits with me to listen to my inner most feelings & emotions, help me bring them into life, birthing them into meanings and most of all, to heal my soul.
So for those of you who are experiencing unsettlement, situations that are challenging your comfort zone, or moments in life that are making you cringe from the inside out, you may be exactly where you need to be. Do not let these difficult moments go just yet or find an easy way out by ignoring them. Resistances are sent by your soul to show you the most valuable signs and essences, which are given not to haunt, scare or hurt you, but they appear to enlighten you, to remind you that there is space to grow, that you are destined to go somewhere further, that there is nothing to be afraid of, that you are worth it through your shortcomings and that you deserve clarity and truth so that you can find your true self.
I wish all of you a courageous 2020~ To work through those pain, and peel those layers. Allow yourself to shine from within and reveal your true authentic beautiful self!
For those of you who are interested in discovering and working through those resistances using the Expressive Arts, please feel free to contact me for more information~! I would be more than happy and honored to help guide you in this beautiful journey to your soul.
Blessings xo